In any case, here's my MP600 for reference. I really hope Corsair figures out why this is happening to so many people.
Edit: I benched the MP600 in Atto, as user Seege suggested, and look what we have here! (Write speeds are on the LEFT mind you! Additionally, Windows task manager reports the real throughput to be about ~0.2GB/S higher than ATTO when speeds exceed 2GB/s or so.)
Looks like CrystalDiskMark doesn't play ball particularly well with our x570 boards..?
I then went back to CDM, and messed around with filesizes & passes. Turns out the results are very inconsistent in CDM. In one test, I get the advertised speeds(!)... And in the next SAME test I get 1GB write speeds.
Lads, should we check the integrity and compatibility of our benchmarking tools instead, or are these fluctuating results caused by the drive itself?